I promise she looked like Carrie Underwood last night

Tats can be sexy but not when they’re plastered on a Swamp Donkey

I knew as she made me breakfast burritos down in the cafeteria that perhaps I had overjudged last night.  She looked much closer to Kim Kardashian after 14 beers

It was the first girl I ever bedded that could look me in the eyes and read a paper at the same time

Many people wonder where the term Swamp Donkey originates from.   I think this pretty much covers it. 

She had me at “those Funions are hanging…help me shake this thing”

Swamp Donkey def A woman of lesser beauty (usually heavy) that waits at a bar until the end of the night preying on guys that are filthy drunk in attempt to bag them